Paragon
by shinigami714
Summary: Kili is used to being mocked for his looks, however when one particular dwarf joins in on the teasing, it becomes a bit too much to handle. Fili/Kili, Angst, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff. Written for a prompt on the Hobbit Kink Meme.


AN: I needed to write something smutty…and this happened, though it was supposed to be for a prompt on the Meme. OP had asked for Kili getting teased about his looks, and handling it fine, until his brother joins in on the fun.

Pairing: Fili/Kili

Warnings: Incest, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Paragon **

Kili had always been a bit odd looking, at least among dwarves that is. His build was slighter than most, and he was quite lanky. His face was slimmer and his nose thinner. And though he once blamed his youth for his lack of beard, it really should have been thicker by now. Heck, Ori had more facial hair than Kili did, and Fili had enough that he was starting to braid it. Kili had possessed a light ghosting of hairs upon his chin for almost fifteen years, and still it refused to grow in thicker and longer.

He was used to being the subject of many jokes among others, men and dwarves alike. They'd mock him for his looks, the men saying he was too small and frail to be a dwarf. The dwarves saying he might as well be a lass. In fact, many of the female dwarves in the Blue Mountains were stouter than he, and even possessed thicker and more decadent beards than he figured would ever grow on his face.

It hurt. He couldn't lie about that. Every comment hurt, though he refused to show the pain on his face. It wasn't all bad; after all, he had many good qualities despite his lacking in the looks department. He was a skilled fighter, able to shoot a bow farther and with more precision than anyone he'd met. And he considered himself rather creative and resourceful. When combined with his brother, the two were an unstoppable force. Fili had always supported him, and encouraged him to ignore the jibes of others. His brother would stick up for him in a crowd, and defend him when he was bullied. Then at night he would tuck Kili in, kissing his forehead and telling him how perfect he was while he whispered loving words into his ears. It made Kili smile and it kept him going each and every day. Kili looked up to his brother, and he loved him more than he would ever love another.

Still sometimes it wasn't quite enough. It got to the point that Kili avoided ever looking at himself. The sight bothered him, and he considered his face quite ugly. He grew to hate his body, covering himself whenever possible, and avoided changing in front of others. He knew his brother, who was burlier and more attractive could not possibly like his appearance either, despite what he may say to cheer the younger dwarf up. So Kili never confessed his love. He held his feelings inside, and instead drew happiness from the moments his brother stood up for him, and boasted of his skills in other places.

By the time they began the journey to Erebor Kili had grown quite used to the mockery the other dwarves made of him. Dwalin was the worst. He'd make jeering comments about how young Kili would never find a mate, looking as he did. And on occasion he'd imply that Kili was female, and ask what exactly he thought he was doing on such a journey. Kili ignored him. He could have gone to his uncle and complained. He knew Thorin would not appreciate the jokes and would scold the other dwarves, but Kili was stronger than that. He could handle a bit of ridicule and sometimes he'd simply laugh along with them and throw back a biting insult of his own.

It soon became a nightly routine to make fun of Kili. They had not much else to do other than talk around a fire and tell stories. So, many of the dwarves would settle for throwing jokes back and forth about him. Eventually Fili stopped defending him. It would have been too much of a chore, Kili supposed, and it was for the best, since Kili needed to prove he could handle it anyway. He wasn't just Fili's baby brother. Sometimes though, he wished Fili would step in, defend him like he used to, so Kili could pretend his brother cared, even just a little. And he missed the days his brother tucked him in at night, that were glaringly absent on their journey.

It was a particularly biting evening. They'd settled in the woods not far from the carrack and Kili was tired, and upset after the events of the day prior. He could not count how many times he'd nearly caught his death. Nor could he count the times his brother had. Everything was starting to become frighteningly real. The few glances he'd taken of Fili the past couple days had shown him the other dwarf was suffering as well. They both looked tired, and Fili seemed angered and upset. The other dwarves were unsettled as well, and of course began their nightly routine to increase morale, making fun of Kili. Unfortunately Kili's morale only lowered. He could not bring himself to throw back remarks and insults that night, only listening to the others laugh at him. He sat off to the side of the group, his back to them, sharpening stones into arrowheads and skinning twigs to make the shafts. Some of the remarks were getting quite uncomfortable, verging on sexual harassment.

"Look at the way he handles those sticks, should be putting those slender hands to better use," Dwalin chuckled and the others laughed heartily. Kili twitched at the joke. The company had always made remarks about his appearance, but referring to him as…well, slutty, that was new. And it was altogether more painful. Kili shoved his pipe into his mouth, trying to relax his nerves and breathed in deep around it, smoke pouring across his lips. Another dwarf referred to him as a prostitute and Kili frowned at the ground. They must have been drunk, really drunk. The company didn't typically lower themselves quite this much.

"You know, those lips could go to a better use as well, wasted on that pipe I daresay," Bofur heartily chipped in, and somehow Kili felt like crying. Bofur was a good friend, and such words pained him greatly. He swallowed shakily, trying to remind himself it was just a joke, all in good humor, and he knew that Bofur meant him no harm. The chipper dwarf just always wanted to cause a laugh. But Kili was shocked by the vehemence behind these remarks, and they almost drew him in to defend his own honor. He was about to turn when Fili's voice stood out in the crowd, and Kili thought for a moment he was going to defend him like he always used to. Then everything came crashing down.

"You think that's bad, watch him on a pony. You'd think he'd never had a ride before, the way his legs clamp up like a virgin lass," Fili spoke though his voice was oddly dry and humorless. The other dwarves laughed and Kili gasped, his pipe falling from his mouth. He turned quickly to look at his brother in shock. Never had Fili joined in on the teasing before, at least never had Kili heard him. He made a choked sound and felt his eyes get moist. The other dwarves looked at him at the noise, and Fili's eyes narrowed a bit in regret. Then Kili's face was wet, and he raised his fingers to touch the skin there, lifting tears from his cheeks. He stared into his brother's blue eyes.

"Kili…," Fili whispered at the sight of his brother crying. The other dwarves were mumbling amongst themselves in surprise, and Kili figured they must think him weak. He stood quickly and stumbled a bit before running into the woods away from the company.

"Wait, Kili! I didn't mean anything by it," Fili shouted behind him, but Kili just ran harder. He'd never felt such pain before. He could have handled the others saying such things, but his brother? The one he loved? It hurt too much. Kili collapsed against a tree, sobbing into the bark. How could Fili say such things about him? Of course he was a…of course he had never…how could he when the one he loved was before him each day. Did his brother truly think him odd and ugly as well? Kili thought his heart might be trying to rip through his chest. He clutched at his body and gasped for air between his tears.

"Kili? Kili!" Fili yelled, the sound of his footfalls approaching from behind. Kili swallowed and tried to clear his throat.

"Don't! D-don't. Go, leave me be," Kili struggled to say, but he heard his brother approach him regardless. Fili's hand rest gently on his shoulder.

"Kili I swear, I didn't mean anything by it, it was just a joke," Fili uttered, and Kili turned pushing him away violently.

"Don't touch me!" Kili yelled then he fell backwards to the ground and rubbed shamefully at his face.

"How could you, how could you say such things about me?" he whispered.

"You have no idea…h-how much it hurts. To be made a mockery of every day! A-and then…y-you...," Kili stumbled over his words as tears fell between his fingers. Fili was standing in front of him, struggling to stop his cries to no avail. He grabbed at Kili's hands, pulling them roughly away from his face. His brother's eyes were red rimmed and filled with anger.

"Why you too? A-anyone but you I could have handled," Kili gasped, his words finally coming. Fili knelt in surprise, his hands gripping Kili's wrists as he stared into his brother's distraught face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…brother," Fili spoke, hating himself for hurting his brother like this. Kili wrenched his hands away and wrapped them around his knees while sniffling. Kili looked at him once more before he finally spoke.

"I l-love you Fili, more than anything," Kili whispered quietly. Fili's arms hung limply at his sides, unable to speak, more than a little surprised by his brother's confession. He had never thought Kili would love him. Not in a million years. There had been no signs, none at all. Then Fili remarked at the possibility that Kili had just become so good at hiding them, hiding all of his emotions.

"Kili…I'm so sorry, I…I don't know what came over me," Fili started but Kili was talking again.

"D-do you know how much it hurts, to hear you speak of me like that?" Kili questioned, his eyes looking tiredly at the ground.

"Brother…what can I do? I…was thinking of you. The comments bothered me I swear they did…but then, I just had this image of you and…it came out," Fili murmured, shame visible on his face. Kili narrowed his eyes. Just what did Fili mean by thinking of him?

"I don't know why I even…I was drinking too much I guess. You know how I drink when I'm angry. It's no excuse, I know that. I can't stand the thought of you doing those things they spoke of with others," Fili voiced and his brother looked up at him in surprise.

"I would never, not with anyone but…," Kili began, eyebrows clenching together tightly.

"…But you," he finished. Fili didn't know what to say. His brother looked so tired and pained. The sight hurt his heart more than anything he'd ever felt before. He remembered when Kili had been born, and how he'd cried and cried. Fili had reached out a finger, and his little baby brother had grabbed at it, squeezing gently, and then his crying stopped. Fili did that now, reaching a finger and stroking it down Kili's arm to his palm, his brother grasped at it tightly. His sobbing quieted but tears still ran from his eyes.

"And I know I'm ugly, I know that, but why…why did you have to laugh?" Kili mumbled, and Fili could barely hear the words escape his mouth. He was shocked by his brother's thoughts.

"Idiot, you're not ugly," Fili insisted and he tried once again to approach his brother. He lifted him under his arms so they knelt before one another, though Kili refused to look in his eyes.

"Don't be stupid," Fili whispered in his ear as he wrapped an arm around his brother's back.

"You called me a lass," Kili whispered. Fili squeezed him tighter.

"You're more beautiful than any lass, Kili," he spoke with honesty and kissed his brother on the cheek. Kili shivered at the touch.

"You're flawless, my brother, you always have been," Fili pulled back to look in Kili's eyes. They were wide and glistening and Fili could not resist pressing a kiss to his brother's lips. When he pulled away, Kili followed, his eyes open as his tongue invaded his brother's mouth. The two drew regretfully from one another and stared into each other's eyes. Their breathing was heated, and their lips were swollen. Fili ran his hands down his brother's face, wiping tear trails away with his thumbs. Then suddenly Fili was pushing Kili hard up against the tree behind him, ravaging his mouth. The two were writhing against each other, their pent up anger and lust finally getting the better of them. Kili could feel his brother's arousal pressing against him, and for the first time in his life he felt truly attractive. As long as Fili thought him beautiful that was all that mattered. Their armor scraped, leather rubbing against leather. Kili moaned into his brother's mouth then with a rush of courage pushed his brother down hard on the forest floor, the leaves rushing out from under him. Fili looked up at him in shock, his breath coming in quick gasps.

"Tell me brother, just what were you thinking about when you spoke so lewdly of me?" Kili enquired, as he crawled forward to straddle his brother's legs. He watched as Fili's face flushed with colour.

"Isn't it kind of…obvious," Fili asked, unable to look the other in the eyes. Kili bent down so that his lips hovered above his brother's and he ran thin glove covered fingers up and through his brother's beard.

"I want you to tell me, I think you owe me that much at least," Kili insisted and Fili closed his eyes and breathed in deep.

"I was thinking of you, and that beautiful mouth of yours on me. Then I imagined you, on me, straddling me like you might your pony, like you're doing right now," Fili whispered and he swallowed thickly and opened his eyes. Kili licked at his lips and grabbed at his brother's belt buckle, untying it at a teasingly slow pace.

"Do you really think me attractive, brother?" He asked, and Fili laughed.

"Now, I know that is obvious," Fili said while inclining his head slightly towards his hardness. Kili smirked and ground down into it, pulling the buckle apart with a clink. Fili moaned loudly and grabbed his brother's hips.

"I'll have you know, I can ride just fine, brother," Kili intoned and he began undoing his brother's breeches.

"I-is that right?" Fili questioned, and then he gasped as his arousal was freed and cool air washed over it. Kili made quick work of his own breeches, spreading his legs out beside Fili's body.

"Yes, though, I do believe I'm much better without a saddle," Kili implied and his brother watched as he sucked on his fingers then used them to stretch himself. Kili thrust back onto his fingers vigorously enjoying the complete awe on his brother's face. Fili's hands stroked his thighs, and his hardness was ready and waiting, eagerly dripping. Kili spread the fingers within his body and sat up so Fili could see everything. Then when he was ready, Kili removed his fingers with a slick sound and hovered over his brother's arousal. Fili was practically trembling in anticipation as he watched their bodies connect. He groaned and tried his hardest not to buck up into his brother's heat.

"Be a good pony for me brother," Kili whispered and then he seated himself fully and began rocking gently. He gasped at the feeling of Fili's buckles and leather against his legs and pressed his hands forward to tug at his thick blonde hair. Fili bent his knees up slightly, pulling his brother down a bit so they could kiss. Kili had not been lying when he said he could ride, a natural it seemed. Fili could barely think. Their tongues played with each other intricately and occasionally Kili would pull back and tug one of Fili's braids into his mouth, rolling the clasps along his tongue.

Fili knew in moments he'd be finished and he grasped his brother's arousal in his hand, stroking him gradually. His brother's pace was slow, but it did not dampen his pleasure. Then Kili tightened his legs around his brother's body and started to buck against him aggressively. He leant back, resting against Fili's legs as he rode him thoroughly. Fili gazed at his brother's beauty. Kili's hair was everywhere, a black mane that framed his face and moved with his body. His dark eyes penetrated into Fili's very soul and his slender body moved skillfully atop him. How anyone could think this dwarf before him unattractive was a great mystery. Fili would not have his brother any other way.

Fili desperately wanted to last until his brother climaxed, but he could no longer hold back and he was squeezing a hand hard in Kili's side while he spurted deep within him. His hand jerked roughly over Kili's arousal and he bucked up a few times, filling his brother. Kili gasped loudly at the sensation of his brother's essence flooding his insides. He mewled and tightened then released in his brother's hand. Fili was pulling him down atop his body and kissing him hard until they were no more than a shaking pile of limbs. They held each other tightly, and Fili planted several kisses along his brother's neck.

"Why didn't you tell me you loved me?" Fili asked his brother, genuinely curious.

"I thought you'd think me unappealing," Kili responded, his voice soft. Fili ran his fingers up Kili's back to play in his hair, and turned to look into his deep brown eyes.

"Like I've always said Kili, you are perfect," Fili spoke, stroking the hairs beside his brother's face, and then he leant his head up and pressed a kiss to Kili's brow.

* * *

AN: I didn't proofread this much, sorry for mistakes. I need to stop updating so late at night.


End file.
